THE "MAN'S"TRUAL CYCLE
Just as the title suggests, men go through cycles, albeit a little differently from women. Here are some real observations.
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Yes ladies and gentle ( or not so gentle ) men... no matter who has done the research and what papers have or haven't been published, men go through cycles. Oh yes! they do !!! Doesn't matter if they are married, were married, wish they were or weren't married, in love, out of love, wishing they didn't give a freak about love... all heterosexual women will unanimously agree that there is something called the "man"strual cycle. Of course the men reading this page, will add spoonfuls of sugar, salt, or pegs or kegs of other liquid beverages to digest my comments; needless to say, it will depend on the time of the month and where in their cycle they are.
As women we play various roles as daughter, sister, girlfriend(s), wife, mother , co-worker etc and in all of these roles, we have to interact with the "stronger" sex on and off. Nowhere are these cyclical behavior patterns of men most apparent in these interactions, as they are in their roles as boyfriends and husbands and maybe sometimes rarely as co-workers.
Let's talk about the spouse first, as most of my captive audience who humor me by reading my blog are married. I remember a week after I was married (to the man I am still married to for nearly 12 years), I took a day off from work and arranged his closet (the Godrej almirah, commonly seen in most homes in India) and was phenomenally pleased with my handiwork and the sweetness of my gesture of course. I got all dolled up for him to come home that night and swoon over my thoughtfulness etc etc.
Instead, the first reaction I got was one of slight frustration about not being able to find some item of clothing, followed by what remains a blur. I do recall that the interaction gradually increased in decibel and involved phrases "like my space", " I was doing something for you", "my mom used to do this", "I can take care of myself.." ,some torrential downpour of tears, followed by some more similar phrases. Suffices to say, the man arranges his own closet.
So where does the cycle come in , I hear a deep baritone mutter under his breath as one my readers obliges me. Well my friend, here is the deal, this is the same man who will willingly help out in the kitchen, empty the dishwasher, offer to vacuum the carpets, clean the wood floor etc, but ask him to take the laundry basket to the laundry room and OMG you gotta take a number. This is quite unlike the fairer gender, where it is important both physiologically and psychologically that the cycles stay consistent, which makes it so much easier to predict our mood swings, food or other cravings or lack there of.. etc etc..
For men, this feature is totally random. I mean the spouse could be out all weekend driving around town running errands, eating out, watching a movie and on the way back, it is like the the Spirit Donkey Eeyore has cast his magic spell of gloom and doom. HEAVEN FORBID if at that time u ask the question.. "sweetie are you ok?" and you get the "shut up or I will glare you down" glare, followed by.. "Am fine, will you quit asking that?" Okay then.. so be it.. be your grumpy self for all I care.. am not arranging closets anymore remember.. we all grow up.
The spousal journey is very interesting but being of a somewhat romantic disposition, I have been in love with the concept of love for several decades now. Tennyson remains my mentor about the justification of self pity of better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all etc. So watching people fall in and out of love like flies getting zapped by electric fly catching shock thingies, and being in the shoes or wings of a fly myself, it is not uncommon to see the early signs of the "man"strual cycle emerge even in the "non-committal-totally in love-putting one's best foot or other body parts forward" relationships.
In defense of all the married men reading this, you are not the only sorry lot in the cyclical situation. Your symptoms start a long time ago, both you and the silly bimbette that you may be dating have no freaking clue... until of course you shape up and get into an actual relationship with a woman with both brains and the other stuff.
Boyfriends, significant others, arm candy.. whatever u wanna call them are a fun lot. In the beginning they seem to be totally devoid of cyclical deviations as they kinda behave like bobble head dolls moving in cadence with their lady or any of her appenfages, in total alignment, saying the right things at the right time, keeping shut when necessary ( do I look fat?... there is NO RIGHT ANSWER ) bringing flowers, soup, chocolate, small dogs or cats, whatever the situation demands. However, once familiarity sets in so does.. contempt? Na.. not that harsh, but yes the cycles. The compliments get infrequent, phrases like "what do u want me to say", "tell me what you want and I will get that for you on your birthday", "No I don't like your best friend" "oops , yes I do like her, but no I am not interested in her.." etc.. u know the routine.
Bottom line, women have been characterized with PMS, MMS, SMS, who knows what other acronyms when it comes to the "time of the month". A lot has been written about this stuff with scientific facts etc and yours truly will not refute any of those claims, the mood swings etc, because there are readers of this page who will publicly flog me about lying so I will happily and humbly concede that I am at fault. But this goes out to all skeptical men who think they are the most even keeled, practical, logical creatures of habit who are seldom ruffled by anything or anyone. Newsflash people!!.. that ain't true... You don't have to be from Mars or any other planet for that matter, because God's green earth provides ample examples.
How else do I explain a spouse who helps me with the creative title to this blog (although this term is found on the web in urban dictionaries), sends me the link before he contacts an old crush, will not wear buy sports shorts to go to the gym, instead wear frayed denim ones, goes into a silent mode almost every Sunday night, joins Facebook after his 40th birthday, won't eat breakfast before leaving the house and thinks little tomatoes should be left on the trees for birds to eat them!
So friends, doesn't matter if you feel like the bike or the biker in the relationship, the predictability and the unpredictability of the cycles are what keeps the views interesting.
Ladies in particular, accept the cycles in your man, learn from it, grow from it, know from it.. that what goes around comes around !
that is powerful information.. think about it.. USE IT....
Cyclically yours as always...
Pritha
by VB, Aug 23, 2010
A hard to digest(for men), witty take on mens behavioral patterns. Enjoyed reading it Pritha. Hope you keep writing!
by Jayanthi, Aug 23, 2010
Time for everyone to step back and laugh. You have a good sense of humor, Pritha.
by Beekhush, Aug 21, 2010
A very interesting read!!..loved it! Cheers!!
by Pritha Lal, Aug 21, 2010 , in response to
This article presents to me, the interpretation of an unnamed and uncharted reality!!!!!! The definition of cycle as sited by Jim actually draws attention to a lopsided kind of repetition but it is very easy to identify that there are several "cycles within a cycle" that can be totally different from each other but seamlessly add to the cycle as a whole. Anyways, the perspective presented by Pritha puts thoughts in motion that explain many so called predictable behavior patterns that pop up at unpredictable times. An fun article with a tongue in cheek style of writing. Shilpi
Thank you Shilpi :)
by Pritha Lal, Aug 21, 2010 , in response to
As always, you are at your written best!!! I may not completely agree with the nature of the content, but there's no denying your style; and humor is definitely your forte (am a little envious of that fact actually; even my attempts at speaking / talking humor falls flat). Great piece, Priths!!!
Thanks Jaan as always :) hugs
by Mermaid, Aug 21, 2010
This article presents to me, the interpretation of an unnamed and uncharted reality!!!!!! The definition of cycle as sited by Jim actually draws attention to a lopsided kind of repetition but it is very easy to identify that there are several "cycles within a cycle" that can be totally different from each other but seamlessly add to the cycle as a whole. Anyways, the perspective presented by Pritha puts thoughts in motion that explain many so called predictable behavior patterns that pop up at unpredictable times. An fun article with a tongue in cheek style of writing. Shilpi
by JanakiS, Aug 21, 2010
As always, you are at your written best!!! I may not completely agree with the nature of the content, but there's no denying your style; and humor is definitely your forte (am a little envious of that fact actually; even my attempts at speaking / talking humor falls flat). Great piece, Priths!!!
by Pritha Lal, Aug 20, 2010 , in response to
I didn't like your piece. I think my reasons for that fall into two buckets. The first bucket is that I didn't buy your arguments for a "cycle". A cycle is an often repeated event or sequence of events that may conform to an interval of time. You mention examples where men are inconsistent or change over time, but it doesn't fit the pattern of being repeatable and predictable as in a cycle. You even say "For men, this feature is totally random." which argues against the nature of a cycle. A woman's cycle is, as you know, based on a 28-day pattern of hormone changes which often shows external clues. That, however, doesn't make it correct to blame all external changes on those hormones. The second bucket is your attempt to explain mens' behavior in terms that you (a woman) can understand, or fit your assumptions. Conversely, men are always trying to explain womens' behavior, and you know how inaccurate and humorous that is. When I read the phrase "You don't have to be from Mars...", I thought of the book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus". If you have not read that book, I recommend it. It portrays men and women very stereotypical and simplified in order to be entertaining. It is pop psychology, after all, not academic psychology. But there are some elements of truth. If you have read it, then let me point out two of those elements that may better explain some of Indu's behavior. First is the difference between men and women when it comes to asking for help. Women ask for help as a way to get input from others so as to make their decision for solving a problem. Men ask for help after they have exhausted their own ability to solve a problem. You cannot treat you husband as if he were your young son and do everything for him. I do not let my wife buy my clothes, although after 12 years of marriage I have mellowed and allow my wife to offer her opinion as to my selection. This may explain that Indu did not ask, want, or need your help in finding clothes in his closet. (I understand your motivation to do something nice for him.) Second is that women want their well, and men want their cave. Maybe Indu's closet was part of his cave.
Dear Jim, First off thanks so much for taking the time to put your thoughts down.I will not agree or disagree with you. Will wait for Indu when he logs in to talk about the explanations of his behavior :) I would hate to be his spokes person hehehe :) Thanks again.
by Jim E., Aug 20, 2010
I didn't like your piece. I think my reasons for that fall into two buckets. The first bucket is that I didn't buy your arguments for a "cycle". A cycle is an often repeated event or sequence of events that may conform to an interval of time. You mention examples where men are inconsistent or change over time, but it doesn't fit the pattern of being repeatable and predictable as in a cycle. You even say "For men, this feature is totally random." which argues against the nature of a cycle. A woman's cycle is, as you know, based on a 28-day pattern of hormone changes which often shows external clues. That, however, doesn't make it correct to blame all external changes on those hormones. The second bucket is your attempt to explain mens' behavior in terms that you (a woman) can understand, or fit your assumptions. Conversely, men are always trying to explain womens' behavior, and you know how inaccurate and humorous that is. When I read the phrase "You don't have to be from Mars...", I thought of the book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus". If you have not read that book, I recommend it. It portrays men and women very stereotypical and simplified in order to be entertaining. It is pop psychology, after all, not academic psychology. But there are some elements of truth. If you have read it, then let me point out two of those elements that may better explain some of Indu's behavior. First is the difference between men and women when it comes to asking for help. Women ask for help as a way to get input from others so as to make their decision for solving a problem. Men ask for help after they have exhausted their own ability to solve a problem. You cannot treat you husband as if he were your young son and do everything for him. I do not let my wife buy my clothes, although after 12 years of marriage I have mellowed and allow my wife to offer her opinion as to my selection. This may explain that Indu did not ask, want, or need your help in finding clothes in his closet. (I understand your motivation to do something nice for him.) Second is that women want their well, and men want their cave. Maybe Indu's closet was part of his cave.
by Pritha Lal, Aug 20, 2010 , in response to
Great article, but pure fiction!! As a guy, I completely deny that such a thing is even possible. You certainly have an active imagination and you write very very well making this an enjoyable read. Did you classify this as fiction yet?
4 words for your very kind comment Bobby..."cylically predictable thou art" thou art":))))) seriously tho, thank you so much and I thought I couldn't write fiction.. well whaddya know ? ;)
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